To be honest nobody really needs a gym. 95% of people who train can achieve what they want with bodyweight exercises, but how much fun is that? I’m the kind of guy to whom training in a gym really helps me take it to eleven. The gym is a designated space made for pushing myself physically and nothing else, whereas my bedroom floor or the park is used for many other things. There is no reading books or picnics to be had in a gym. The not-quite-retro-enough-to-be-cool-Euro-trance music videos blasting on the flat screens, were put there to make you want to look like these young and fit Euro-trash weekend warriors – every morsel of the gym was put there to make you fit.
I find myself in different cities around the world the majority of the year, and most of these gyms either don’t do casual visits or charge you 20$ for one. Most big cities have a plethora of commercial and local gyms, and I will now give you a few tips on how you can train for free when it’s not worth it signing up.
Identity sneakiness
Like most people I have more than one surname and even a few middle names, and best of all my first name can be pronounced and spelled in a host of different ways. So say I’ll go to a Fitness First branch here in Sydney, I’ll sign up as Nick Rasmussen in one and use as much charm as possible to get the longest pass possible. When I want to gym it again I’ll go to another branch and I’ll sign up as Nicklas Kingo. Mind you if you just go to a different chain altogether you won’t even have to lie or be sneaky about what name you may have used at a different branch.
A few good tips if the above protocol doesn’t go as planned:
Have a few email addresses set up for situations like these, in case their system picks up that your email is registered already.
Obviously you can’t do the above with phone numbers so just tell them you haven’t set up a plan yet but you will soon. Or be even sneakier and just change a random digit in your number – that’s a legit mistake to make, right?
The same goes for addresses. Actually they don’t even check addresses, so just write whatever. I know this because I have never used an address that my name was connected to in any way.
But honestly you can train for free without going through all the sneaky business if you just do a bit of research and plan your gym visits to different gyms for the duration of your stay. One thing though: be as unclear as possible when they ask you how long you’re staying. You don’t want to say something like: Oh I’m actually flying out in two days I just want to smooch on your heavy iron objects and oxygen. I usually say something vague along the lines of not being sure yet, or downright lie and say for good. It’s okay to lie when it’s in the name of health. Sort of.
Just be an awesome dude, dude.
This last one is an extremely broad subject but one thing I really cannot stress enough is the importance of just being an awesome dude in these kinds of situations. When you’re basically trying to get something from somebody who does not owe you anything, being a legit good person who just flicks smiles and value at everybody, will get you so much farther than just Oliver Twist’ing it and asking for shit. This goes for every interaction in every day life really.
Example: today I got upgraded from a daily pass to a full week pass because I was bantering, emitting positive energy and being genuinely interested in the girl who’s job it was to yank as much money out of my pocket as possible. So now I’ll be lifting and doing yoga every day of the week. I’m going to be the most limber mofo in the southern hemisphere.
Now if I know that I will be staying in a place for longer than two months I usually sign up for a gym membership, but I rarely stay in one place for that long and this works just fine for stays under two months.
So be nice to people; it all comes back to you and it will get you ripped!
